Whatev

I couldn’t use the internet in the office anymore. Well, at least until further notice. I finished New Moon today. This no-internet policy will turn me into a bookworm once again. I start with Eclipse tomorrow.

There, just wanted to explain why I wouldn’t be able to comment and bloghop as often as before.

Olats. I’m also sick. I’ve been feverish since Sunday night. I think my toncils are inflamed. Hala sige, yosi pa. Iced tea pa. At hala sige, daldal pa.

I’ve been remembering him a lot lately. Tangina. I’d give anything to have him in my life again.

I don’t give a shit anymore whether it’s right or wrong; permissible or forbidden. All I know is that I want him. I need to be around him. Even for just a fraction of a second. I can settle for half a glimpse.

Fuck, delayed reaction ito ha, pero baka nga mahal ko siya.

Did I say that in jest? Natatawa ako. I guess I’m tired of crying about the miserable truth. Bago ito. Itawa na lang.

Brainspill. Blah blah blah.

Can’t wait to see Joko and Jap tomorrow for dindin, coffee, dessert, and tarot reading!

Gulo noh?

What bitch? I’m sick. Excuuuuuuse me.

Toodles.

—–

listening to: Madonna – Secret

Filed under: I

ZzzzweekendzzzZ

I had my alcohol fix with Francis last Friday in Grilla. It’s weird not knowing where Grilla’s at when it’s just five kembots away from where I work.

I kept my less significant promise to Nico. I drank Pale and Super Dry to post-celebrate his birthday even if we’re hundreds of miles away.

I told Inez I’d go to UP for my much anticipated Acad Oval walk and have coffee with her in Chocolate Kiss or Oz after her football game. I woke up rather late yesterday so I rescheduled. I was up early this morning but the weather was a bitch and I had to raincheck.

Another SatSun watching dvds and reading books.

Yesterday I watched The Godfather (for the nth time) and Chocolat (Chocolates… Johnny Depp… Yuuummm!). Tonight I’m finally watching Wanted (Angelina Jolie… Yuuuummmm! Errr… James Mc Avoy! Yuuuummm!).

My cousin let me borrow Twilight by Stephenie Meyer and I finished it in less than 12 hours. After I watch Wanted, I’m starting New Moon. I can’t wait for Twilight, the film to be released.

Babaw. I can’t believe my dorkiness is exceeding the allowable level.

Excuse me. Have you seen my social life?

I think I dropped my bulk of enthusiasm somewhere.

Last night I caught the better of me asking the wisest being what my purpose is now and what it is that I should do next.

Did I get answer? No.

He’s probably too busy watching dvds, too.

—–

listening to: SWV – Weak

Filed under: I

Allegro Krumping Imposible Symphony

I am addicted to Vanessa Mae’s take on Vivaldi’s Allegro (The Original Four Seasons Op. 8, No. 1, Spring). I especially love the consecutive slamming of the doors after the maniacal martelé of the violin.

Nelly and Fergie’s Party People makes me want to learn how to krump and strike à la Stomp the Yard. I need a Chris Brown to teach me.

I have my second cousin, Miki to thank for my rediscovery of Papa Roach. Scars is on repeat mode in my mind. My weakness is that I care too much And my scars remind me that the past is real…

Sorry, Perez. I love you, but I just can’t abandon Team Miley. It’s not that I hate Selena. It’s just that don’t like her for the cutest Jonas brother. Plus, I don’t think Miley is a slut. She’s just errrmmm… socially advanced. Give the girl 2 more years.

So bite me. I watch ABS-CBN’s newest teleserye, Iisa Pa Lamang almost every night.  It reminds me of my favorite Maricel Soriano classic, Pinulot Ka Lang Sa Lupa. Whaaaaat? I was nicknamed by my parents Little Taray Queen after Maricel in the 80’s.

I miss good old Saturday morning cartoons. Smurfs! Carebears! Rainbow Brite! Glow Worms! Pound Puppies! She-raaaaaaaaa!!! Waaaah! I miss getting my kiddie audiovisual fix while making papak a bowlful of Milo powder with miniature marshmallows.

I don’t know why a lot of people (exempli gratia, my applicants from job fairs and my cousin Maf, hehe) have Imposible as their ringback. I found it hard to believe when Maf told me it was KC Concepcion who sang it Imposible. I thought, “She covered Rivermaya’s hit? That’s just soooo wrong.” Wrong nga. Posible pala ‘yun. Hehe.

If asked what’s my favorite movie, I answer Sister Act in a heartbeat. Color? Green (always comes with a short explanation why red became the 2nd favorite). Song? Crazy for You. Well not anymore! My numero uno now is my Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve I’ve always liked it, but now it’s more than a song. It’s a life story.

Yes. I like re-engineered classical music, dancing and movies about it, Hannah Montana, The Disney Channel, and select Tagalog drama series. I am in touch with the kid and the bitch within.

I am here in my mold
But I’m a million different people
from one day to the next…

-Richard Ashcroft

—–

listening to: The Verve – 6:00

Filed under: I, Pulling Off A Perez , Bittersweet Symphony, Iisa Pa Lamang, Imposible, iya santos, KC Concepcion, Papa Roach, Pinulot ka Lang Sa Lupa, Richard Ashcroft, Saturday morning cartoons, Scars, The Verve, Vanessa Mae

It follows.

I saw the chocolate to my analogy after Blue Ketchup played Kung OK Lang Sa’yo in 70’s during Joko’s birthday gig.

If there’s pain after pain, there’s bottle after bottle.

—–

listening to: Papa Roach – Scars

Filed under: Confuzzled, I , iya santos, the chocolate analogy

For Joanna and Dominic Ü

To the two stellar beings I absolutely adore, happy birthday!

Joko : July 21

I have this strong feeling that we were sisters in the past life. Or that you were my daughter. Even apo. So my dearest Joanna Katrina, listen to your Lola Wabbit and hop your way to your inner rabbit.

Nico : July 23

You might have been the love of my life in the past life. Now reduced to a what might have been. Haha. Love New York all you want just save some for me.  I miss you so much. 

I love you both dearly.

—–

listening to: Dishwalla – Every Little Thing

Filed under: Intimate Circle , birthday, joko magalong, Nico Andrada

Quotes from The Dark Knight

 

I’m guessing 8 out 10 bloggers who saw The Dark Knight already immortalized reviews in the www, so I thought of just posting my favorite lines from the film.

Read. Reminisce. Ponder. Learn.

Batman: Sometimes, truth isn’t good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.

The Joker: I use a knife because guns are too quick. Otherwise, you can’t savor all the emotions. You know who people are in their last moments.

The Joker: I’m a dog chasing cars. I don’t have plans. I just do things. I’m not a schemer.

The Joker: This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. “If you’re good at something, you never do it for free.”

The Joker: Madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push.

Harvey Dent: The only morality in an amoral world is chance.

Harvey Dent: You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Harvey Dent: The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming!

Bruce Wayne: I knew the mob wouldn’t go down without a fight. But this is different. They crossed the line.
Alfred Pennyworth: You crossed the line first, sir. You hammered them. And in their desperation they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand. Some men aren’t looking for anything logical. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Alfred Pennyworth: Will you be wanting the Batpod, sir?
Bruce Wayne: In the middle of the day, Alfred? Not very subtle.
Alfred Pennyworth: The Lamborgini, then? Much more subtle!

The Joker: [to Rachel] A little fight in ya. I like that.
Batman: Then you’re going to love me.

Batman: Why do you want to kill me?
The Joker: I don’t want to kill you. What would I do without you? You complete me.

Yeeeeaaaah. You complete me!

A more charismatic, more psychotic Jerry Maguire right there. I wonder who would reprise The Joker’s role now that Heath Ledger’s in the afterlife. I surely hope the critics are right about him getting an Academy award. The 2nd one to get a posthumous Oscar, after Sidney Howard for the Gone with the Wind screenplay.

Christian Bale, Christian Bale… I’ve been in love with him since Little Women days. I love him. He makes me want to forget Justin Timberlake.

Because TDK’s such an amazingfantasticspectacular film, I will watch it again. In IMAX. I will even wait for its dvd release. Original copy.

Yessss. I liked it THAT much.

—–

listening to: my colleagues raving about Heath Ledger’s portrayal of The Joker

Filed under: Pulling Off A Perez , Alfred Pennyworth, Christian Bale, Harvey Dent, Heath Ledger, Rachel Dawes, The Dark Knight quotes, The Joker

The dominatrix is the sun in Seattle.

Introspection is such a lovely word.

Lovelier when practiced. I practice it often. When you catch me talking to myself, that’s just my daily struggle to understand who I am spilling over. Sure, it sounds weird, but then again, I never thought of myself as normal. Who is normal now, anyway? Odd is the new black.

Lucas and I talked last night and somewhere in between Tagaytay and treating patients with nana, he shared some thoughts about my favorite subject… ME!

So according to my doctor, I am harsh, violent, and hurtful. 

“What’s that? What’s that term? You are… you are… Iya, you are a dominatrix!”
“No kaya! Sakalin kita eh.”

So much for self defense.

I told him I think I’m still two levels away from being one. I don’t play with knives. I don’t have a gun. I haven’t been in a fistfight or a bitchfight for more than five years. My idea of bondage is scarves. For crying out loud, I’m not the one who owns handcuffs!

I could have simply ignored his observation (which sounded more like a conclusion) if only I have not been friends with him since puberty. Time is relative, I know, but there’s something about his memory that I can’t quite contest. There might also be one or two incidents that can support his claim.

I suddenly became concerned about the impression I give others.

“Hey… kind naman ako ha.”
“Yes, you are.”
“And gentle?”
“I’m sure you have a gentle side, you just don’t show it to people. You’re like the sun in Seattle.”

Justice said I am incapable of being dull, and hopefully I don’t become dangerously sharp. So what am I now? A knife?

A few scratches and tiny bruises can’t hurt that much.

I feel like asking all my frienemies if I am indeed harsh, violent, and hurtful. I will not use the word dominatrix, because some shithead perverts don’t know it also means demanding.

If I ask you, try to think of a way in which you can lie to me and say I am gentle, kind, and compassionate.

If you fukken piss me off, I’ll… I’ll…

I’ll have to think of something first.

Well maybe later.

For now, I have to get back to my introspection and scrutinize my way into a clearcut category of me.

(Not that I have to, I just want to. At least for now. And yeah, he also said that I can’t live a day without meeting a quota. For someone who just reappreared in my life, he knows me damn well. Haha.)

—–

listening to: The Cure – Friday i’m In Love

Filed under: I, Intimate Circle , dominatrix, introspection, rain, Seattle

Kharma of The Med-Cert Obsessed

I’ve been feeling a strange pain in my left eye since Saturday night. Seems like a nerve is causing it. I tried to suck it up like a man but the paranoid lady in me finally screamed for help two days ago after a series of pseudo-diagnoses from people who knew about my perplexing situation.

Pinaka-killer dyan yung hirit ni Doc Lucas na, “Does it feel it’s going to pop? That might lead to temporary or permanent blindness.”

Ampotah. No redness, no dizziness, no blurry vision, tapos baka mabulag ako? Waaaaaaaaaahhhh!

I decided to risk the critical workday policy and asked for a half-day so that I could have my eye examined. While I was waiting for the clinic to process my sent-home form, I googled my condition. According to my trusty self diagnosing skills… astigmatism? Non. Cataract? Nein. Glaucoma? Good God, no! So what the hell is this?

According to Dr. Hechanova, one of the opthalmologists in Makati Med, there is nothing wrong with my left eye. Nothing wrong with both eyes in fact. My vision is still 20/20. Not even one sty.

So what’s causing the pain?

Hormonal imbalance.

Again?!@#$!!!%%!!???

He assured me that the pain will eventually go away. He advised that I rest my eyes at least for a day.

Because I believe in patient compliance, I didn’t go to work yesterday. I slept for almost 16 hours and I only used the net for 15 minutes. Haha, so I wasn’t that obedient afterall. Whaaaat? I had to check my multiply.

Anyway, my eye is feeling better now.

But wait. I missed 1 1/2 critical workdays because of hormonal imbalance? WTF?!

Have I not suffered enough from cramps?

Apparently not.

How in hell can I give equilibrium to my hormones?

Hooooowwww???

—–

listening to: Jason Mraz – Remedy

Filed under: I, Work It , Dr. Hechanova, hormonal imbalance, Makati Medical Center, opthalmologist

The Chocolate Analogy

There’s this kind of chocolate that I’ve been wanting to try for some time now, 2 years to be exact. Why didn’t I just get one to know how good it is, you ask. It’s because I’m not really fond of chocolates. I only eat a few kinds and this certain chocolate isn’t that appetizing to me. 

Still I keep on wanting it.

Why do I want to taste it?

I can’t say it’s because of the rarity because it’s not! I know a lot of people have already tasted it. I just don’t know if they went for seconds.

It’s not because of the popularity because it’s more infamous than it is otherwise.

And why didn’t I just taste it?

It’s not because I’m a health-freak. I’ve eaten fattier, more caloric, sweeter, darker, more sinful food.

It’s definitely not because I’m afraid to get addicted to it. If it’s not cigarettes, I can manage.

I told myself a few weeks ago that I’d just let go of all irrelevant hesitations and just taste the damn thing. Taste it. Eat it. Take it whole. Break it into pieces. Melt it. Freeze it. Start it. End it.

End it. End it.

Now, I’m left with no other choice.

Some brighteyed girl beat me to the chocolate.

Alas, I’ll never know what that kind of sin tastes like.

—–

Note to self: from now on, I’ll eat whatever I want whenever I want.

—–

listening to: Workshy – It’s Too Late

Filed under: Confuzzled, I, Word Sketch , chocolate analogy, hesitation, procrastination

Junged.

I took another personality test c/o Raf and Candice. It’s a type test based on the typology of Carl Gustav Jung. According to the text, I am type RR which means Reliable Realist.

It’s kinda like my MBTI result, ISTJ – Introversion, Sensing, Thinking, Judging. Yeah, I’m done being ENTJ. Only found out yesterday when Joko shared her results. Yes, results. She took 3 mini-online MBTI’s and got different types, haha. So is my friend inclined to MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder)? Uhhh no. No yata. Hehe. It just means online tests aren’t really valid and reliable. Plus, there are a lot of extraneous variables that can affect the taker. Like multitasking the test with chatting in YM, Multiply stalking, YouTube-ing, and surfing porn.

Better go to your school’s guidance center or library or your company’s HR office to take the real thing. Now, if I could only find my UP library card…

Anyhoodles, back to the test.

Here’s an excerpt from my profile. The lines in red are those I disagree on; I agree 108% with those in blue.

Reliable Realists are down-to-earth and responsible-minded. They are precise, reserved and demanding. Their most prominent quality is reliability and they will always make every effort to keep any promise given. Reliable Realists are more quiet and serious persons, they do not talk a lot but they are good listeners. They sometimes seem reserved and distant to outsiders although they often have a great deal of wit and esprit.

This personality type not only expects a lot of herself but also of others. Once Reliable Realists have set their mind on something, it is difficult to persuade them otherwise. They do not like to leave anything to chance. Planning means safety to Reliable Realists, as well as order and discipline. They have no problem respecting authorities and hierarchies but do not like to delegate tasks.

In relationships too, Reliable Realists are reliability itself. As partners, they are faithful and consistent, well-balanced and sensible. Security and stability are very important to them. They have little time for extravagances and flightiness. Whoever has them as friend or partner can rely on them for a lifetime. However, it takes quite a while for Reliable Realists to enter into a relationship or friendship.

Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, practical, logical, planning, tradition-conscious, organised, persistent, objective, tidy, conscientious, cautious, loyal, peace-loving, sensible, down-to-earth, responsible-minded, reserved, careful, independent, punctual, precise, demanding, ability to concentrate, trustworthy, pedantic, reliable, persevering

These subjects could interest you
literature, technical activities (model-making), voluntary work, music, trekking, camping, hiking, cooking, drawing/painting, handicraft work, writing, strategy games, politics

Read more?

Take the test?

Yes, bitch. I also am Type-ISTJ.

I REALLY AM AN INTROVERT.

Get over it.

Another classic example of when you think you know, you don’t.

—–

listening to: Kim Carnes – Bette Davis Eyes

Filed under: Boredom Management, I, Things That Make You Go Hmmm... , Carl Jung, ISTJ, MBTI, Myers Briggs Type Inventory, personality tests, RR, typology