Sorry.

Sorry. That’s all I can say to those I hurt last Wednesday. Donnie told me last night that I hurt and disappointed several of our friends in my birthday celeb. They thought how I was that night was very unlike me, that I didn’t act like a 26 year old.

Hmmm… but what really is like me?

And how in hell should a 26 year old act?

I feel bad that I didn’t get a nod from some of the dearest people in my life. I can’t really blame them. Like I said, it was the first time I got drunk in my very own party. I guess it was also the first time they ever saw me go “hysterical over a guy”.

I feel worse that some of them judged me quickly. They should have known better that I’m not the type who would pull off a drama just to get what I want. They should have known better that something was killing me then and it was not only about a guy.

Gawd. I didn’t tell them what was eating me up because I wanted them to enjoy the party and not worry about me. Needless to say, my brilliant plan backfired.

For the first time in so maaaany years, I disppointed them. I didn’t disappoint them when I almost quit school. Nor when I went out with the biggest bastard of Beda. And now this is what I hear–

“You’re better off falling for the bad guys.”

Since when’s being attracted to a good guy considered disappointing? When did being assertive become a disgrace? And what is the issue if the good guy is not attainable when almost everybody’s expecting me to stay away from him? And so what if I’m a big flirt and I make the first move? It’s not like I’m off having crazy sex with some random dude.

What really is like me?

Can’t I have my weak moments? Can’t I be horny as some of you once in a blue moon? Can’t I be a major bratinella drama queen at least once in my life?

How should a 26 year old act?

I’ve been acting older than most of you for as long as I can remember. And I love taking care of you guys, but can you at least remember that in reality, I am the youngest? Can’t you baby me in the sporadic moments that I break down without complaining that I’m being such a pain?

Sorry, guys. I didn’t think about the possible repercussions of my actions. I promise to be drama free and happy on my next birthday bash. I even promise not to drink anything but water when I turn 27. I’ll give you the Iya that you want.

I’ll give you the strong, unfazed, won’t-take-shit-from-anyone me back.

Remember, what happened that night was my fault. Stop putting the blame on someone else, unless you want me to pull off another hysteria stunt.

—–

listening to: SmashingPumpkins – Tonight, Tonight

Previous Post
Next Post
Leave a comment

8 Comments

  1. It’s your party and you can cry if you want to…

    Now it’s my turn to say sorry… Sorry that I missed it. I was touched when you texted me about it…

    Drama queen or not, I still think you rock…

    Reply
  2. MERRY XMAS PO SA INYO!😉

    Reply
  3. kAt^me0w

     /  December 24, 2007

    you’re one of the most level-headed, most mature people i know. whatever “bad” thing you did that night, i’m sure you have a good reason behind it. you’re too great as a friend to be shaken up by one incident. like you said, they dont really know the story behind your actions. when they do, i’m sure they’ll understand.

    happy holidays te iya!

    Reply
  4. te jovi: thanks! san magkita na tayo soon!🙂

    iceyelo: merry xmas din!🙂 enjoy the day!

    kat: thanks so much. i think they already understand. exagerrated glitch lang yung nangyari. :p

    Reply
  5. kengkay

     /  December 24, 2007

    alam mo, if they are you’re real friends they would understand. and hope you’ll listen, too —

    maligayang pasko!

    Reply
  6. Ok lang yun iya! Enjoy the season na lang.
    Merry Christmas!🙂

    Reply
  7. maligayang pasko ate kengkay and kuya kiko!😀

    Reply
  1. Annual Stress Fest « Boredom Management

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: