Cardiac arrest.

I thought I was going to die of it last Monday morning. Why? Because my friend Kiwi (who is an ass) showed my Avoiding The Ex post in Multiply (which was set for contacts only) to none other than The Ex (who’s also friends with Kiw).

So from an inadequate slumber, 8am of the most manic day of the week, I checked my YM and there it was in all of its cut and paste splendor, the conversation of Kiw and my ex regarding my melodramatic entry about our past.

I wanted to die.

Or kill. Break limbs.

But I didn’t want to start my week with thoughts of vengeance and friendships ending. I tried to achieve zen by chainsmoking a pack of Marlboro Reds (which I only do when I’m fukken angry) while reciting “I am the empress of damage control. This too shall pass.”

And it did.

Last night, I was face to face with The Ex. Yes, after almost 5 years of avoiding him, I finally saw him again.

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually… errr.. uhmmm… fun. 🙂

Fun, funny, delightful, light, and amusing. Definitely not trauma material.

We had a couple of drinks last night with Kiw at Tides. I wanted to drink so bad because I was alcohol-free for 1 1/2 weeks. They weren’t in the mood to drink a lot, though. The Ex felt it’d be a dumb contrast to his hours spent in the gym, while Kiw wanted to take a break from abusing his liver. Anyhoodles, Kiw was in his best behavior last night but that didn’t spare him from still being called an ass. Hehe.

Catching up. Namedropping. Kumusta na si ganon? Kumusta na si ganyan? Break na sila? Kelan pa? Since when did you switch to Menthol, kelan ka pa naging pokpok? Nawalan ka na naman ng cellphone? What’s new? Since we were in a relationship for relatively a long time, it could not be helped that we had so many questions about the things and people that were part of our *ahem* love story.

He’s already in a relationship now. He seems pretty happy with the girl. And I see a pattern. Masama daw tumingin eh. :p He said, “Di’ba you’re also with someone now?” To which I replied, “Tangina. Hindi ha. Hindi kaya. Wala, wala!”

But he’s a smart guy. He knows when I’m lying and when I’m saying stuff just to comvince myself. Sabi nga n’ya, “I know that look. What is it? Nako. I know you. The way you think is so complex. Imposibleng wala lang ‘yan.” It still makes me smile that we still remember the random little things about each other. I remember how he tried to be diplomatic when he said he hates that Souljah Boy song because it’s a bobo song and I said I like it because it reminds me of my cousins in LA. Haha. Effort to justify that it’s ok lang naman daw because I like it out of association. Typical him. Little boy sad face, hataw ng diplomacia lines… iwas argument. 😛

The night was spent drinking, pigging out, talking about songs and then some. Last stop was the inhale-exhale of the belated Christmas breeze in Aguirre Ave. Yosi, yosi. Kulit, kulitan. He was tasked to bring me home. So naturally, we had more time to talk. Ok na sana until he asked me about the blog. And for some reason, after a few minutes we were already arguing about our break-up aftermath. Nothing heavy. In fact, we even laughed about it. So ok pa rin naman. Things did not get messy and ugly. I’m not sure who between us has the worse memory.

And before we called it a night, there we were in a familiar place tucked in Concha Cruz. He kept on saying wtf. I kept on reaching for another cigarette. There was something about the Foo Fighters. And Justin Timberlake being sexy. And also about him being a better driver. Something about him learning SAP. And me not finding the right guy. There was something about his friend Vada, what she told me when I met her, and how that affected everything. There was something about how we’re both doing okay now and we’ll be doing better tomorrow and in the days to come. There was something about how we both agreed that there is this one word we could use to describe what we had.

BEAUTIFUL. 🙂

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listening to: Quincy Jones – One Hundred Ways