eX-deal

These are some random ideas that my besty and I came up with yesterday when we were on the topic of dealing with exes. Ex boyfriend, ex husband, ex something. Basta ex. She said it’s only now that she realized that she should do something about her 4-year heartbreak from GCP.

Anyhoodles, according to her, moi and us, these are the most common tactics one could do to deal.

We’re not saying these are effective. And we’re not saying we practice all the items. Ho-hummm.

1. Cry.
Bless Brian McKnight for One Last Cry. Get a towel instead of a hanky or Kleenex. Think about your excruciating fights and happy make-up (and make-out) sessions. Go ahead and cry about the past. Sob. Bawl! Once you feel your tear ducts dehydrated, stop. Wipe your tears and smile. Congratulate yourself for accomplishing an emotional catharsis.

2. Date.
Be beautiful, wear that winning smile and beauty queen confidence. Go out on a date and discover things and places that your good for nothing ex never showed you. Go out.  Look for adventure! Have fun and see where it takes you.

3. Fcuk.
Careful, a bootie call should never be romanticized. Intimacy shouldn’t be confused with passion. Lust is not the same with love. Combine the two at your own risk. You don’t have to act all needy and cuddly after the deed just to make the other feel special. Set parameters to avoid casualties. Good luck! Tough luck!

4. Filter.
If you must talk about the past, use your mental sieve! Dissecting memories is hard to avoid. The most important ones will always try to come out. So before saying anything, pause and select only details that will not provoke another string of arguments or wave of regrets.

5. Forgive.
Forgetting is optional. Forgiveness is mandatory. Remember, even bastards have a redeeming factor, and that is mortality. Yes, dear. Them fuckers are also bound to die. Forgive them now and let afterlife take care of them.

:p

 I wonder which among these five would my besty do. I’m guessing, everything except 3.

—–

listening to: Jewel – You Were Meant For Me

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Moving on up.

The recently concluded week wasn’t spectacular in different levels, but it surely was better than this one.

I’m okay with not-so-spectacular. I’m just happy that I didn’t let the BS of last, last week get the better of me. I’m moving on up. Going where I’m supposed to go.

Pero hindi naman masyadong up. Heaven na ‘yun eh. :p

—–

Yehey! I’m done with my me-time! Hindi na ako uli antisocial! 🙂

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Tuesday night with Mea
Not
kaladkarin, just socially active.

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Sunday Beauty Bonding with Joel
After ranting about the quasi break-up

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Saturday midnight with Anton
Hulaan niyo naman kung ilang taon na siyang nabubuhay sa mundo!

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Saturday night with Joko (and Miki & Carla)
We ate at Le Grand and that deserves a separate post.

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Sunday noon with Jap
Before meeting up with Donnie at BoNa

Seems that I’m just going around in circles. But trust me, I am moving on up. 🙂

—–

listening to: Eve – Cowboy 

 

Just because you feel it,

doesn’t mean it’s there.

— There, There
Radiohead

In pitch dark I go walking in your landscape
Broken branches trip me as I speak
Just cos you feel it doesn’t mean it’s there
Just cos you feel it doesn’t mean it’s there
There’s always a siren singing you to shipwreck (don’t reach out, don’t reach out)
Stay away from these rocks we’d be a walking disaster (don’t reach out, don’t reach out)
Just cos you feel it doesn’t mean it’s there (there’s someone on your shoulder)
Just coz you feel it doesn’t mean it’s there (there’s someone on your shoulder)
Feel it
Why so green
And lonely
Heaven sent you
To me
We are accidents waiting
Waiting to happen
We are accidents waiting
Waiting to happen

—–

listening to: Radiohead – There, There 

BLANKO

Parang wala lang nangyari.
Walang pagpigil.
Walang pagkabog.
Wala!

Tahimik, pero hindi payapa.

Parang wala talagang nangyari.
Parang walang namagitan.
Pero ‘yun nga–
PARANG LANG.

Hindi ito maganda.

Mas gugustuhin ko pa ang gulo at ingay.

—–

listening to: Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder

1 Thing I Hate About You

Nung namatay si Aaliyah, sabi ko, “Bakit hindi na lang si Brandy?”

Nung namatay si Left Eye ng TLC, sabi ko, “Bakit hindi na lang si T-Boz?”

At nang nalaman ko kaninang umaga na namatay na si Heath Ledger, wala na akong nasabi.

Tumulo na lang ang mga luha ko.

Paano ba naman, tumatak sa utak ko ang performance niya sa isa sa mga paborito kong pelikula.

Hindi The Patriot. Hindi Casanova.
Hindi rin Monster’s Ball.
Mas lalong hindi Brokeback Mountain.

Ito ay ang 10 Things I Hate About You.

200px-10_things_i_hate_about_you_film.jpgDiosmeh. Favorite ko talaga yung song and dance number niya ng Can’t Keep My Eyes Off Of You sa bleachers para sa character ni Julia Stiles. Matagal-tagal ko ring pinangarap na gawin yun para sa akin ng significant other ko. Kaso lang, ang nangyari lang sa akin from that movie eh maramdaman ko itong nilalaman ng poem na ito.

10 Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you?re always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around,
and the fact that you didn’t call.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
not even close?
not even a little bit?
not even at all.

Hay-yay-yay.

Mas malupit pa sa Hate That I Love You ni Rihanna at Ne-Yo.

RIP, Heath.
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I have no 10 things I hate about you. Well, ok. Just one. You died too soon.

—–

listening to: Heath Ledger as Patrick Verona – Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You

About Last Week

Last week gave a brand new definition to the word SHITTY. I was jinxed for seven straight days and I was just literally waiting for a building to fall on me or a flaming asteroid to hit my ass as cherry on top of a crap sundae.

I saw the 5year-avoided ex, lost the 5k credit limit, experienced symptoms of astigmatism, made a thoughtless mistake at work, received my first ever verbal warning, bid goodbye to career build-up, said hello to the possibility of a focus alert, was told that Dad might work out of the country again, found out that the prospect is likely to be on the rebound, discovered there’s something wrong with my digicam’s lens, felt like I lost a boyfriend, was faced with a quasi-breakup, ate much much more than the ideal caloric intake and much much more than the alloted budget, and lost absolute trust in one of the dearest people in my life.

I know that this series of unfortunate events is miniscule compared to the starvation of children in Kenya, a wedding being called off because of an inevitable third party, or losing the Presidental Elections to a chimp, but what can I do?

WHAT CAN I DO?

Count my blessings, of course.

I am desperately counting my blessings so as to not wallow on the shitty things that happened to me in the week that was. I can’t let the separation anxiety, the dented career path, and the pseudo-heartbreak bring me down.

I won’t let them bring me down. Or at least I won’t let them bring me down for long.

I may cry, yes. I probably will, but only because I need to be unburdened to create space for my pending blessings.

—–

“Letting go isn’t so much as allowing yourself to give up. At times, it’ just realizing that you owe yourself to be unburdened.” 

—–

listening to: Andy Williams – Moon River

Dream Celebrity Deathmatch

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American Idol’s William Hung vs Renaldo Lapuz

Sana magkaron!

At para sa ignorante, ang Celebrity Deathmatch po ay isang palabas sa MTV. Ito po ay clay animation lamang. Wala po akong balak na tunay na magkamatayan si Will at Rey. Mwaha! Will at Rey? Nyuknyuknyuk. Yes namaaan, close!

—–

listening to: The Newest Pinoy Star

Unavoiding The Ex

Cardiac arrest.

I thought I was going to die of it last Monday morning. Why? Because my friend Kiwi (who is an ass) showed my Avoiding The Ex post in Multiply (which was set for contacts only) to none other than The Ex (who’s also friends with Kiw).

So from an inadequate slumber, 8am of the most manic day of the week, I checked my YM and there it was in all of its cut and paste splendor, the conversation of Kiw and my ex regarding my melodramatic entry about our past.

I wanted to die.

Or kill. Break limbs.

But I didn’t want to start my week with thoughts of vengeance and friendships ending. I tried to achieve zen by chainsmoking a pack of Marlboro Reds (which I only do when I’m fukken angry) while reciting “I am the empress of damage control. This too shall pass.”

And it did.

Last night, I was face to face with The Ex. Yes, after almost 5 years of avoiding him, I finally saw him again.

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually… errr.. uhmmm… fun. 🙂

Fun, funny, delightful, light, and amusing. Definitely not trauma material.

We had a couple of drinks last night with Kiw at Tides. I wanted to drink so bad because I was alcohol-free for 1 1/2 weeks. They weren’t in the mood to drink a lot, though. The Ex felt it’d be a dumb contrast to his hours spent in the gym, while Kiw wanted to take a break from abusing his liver. Anyhoodles, Kiw was in his best behavior last night but that didn’t spare him from still being called an ass. Hehe.

Catching up. Namedropping. Kumusta na si ganon? Kumusta na si ganyan? Break na sila? Kelan pa? Since when did you switch to Menthol, kelan ka pa naging pokpok? Nawalan ka na naman ng cellphone? What’s new? Since we were in a relationship for relatively a long time, it could not be helped that we had so many questions about the things and people that were part of our *ahem* love story.

He’s already in a relationship now. He seems pretty happy with the girl. And I see a pattern. Masama daw tumingin eh. :p He said, “Di’ba you’re also with someone now?” To which I replied, “Tangina. Hindi ha. Hindi kaya. Wala, wala!”

But he’s a smart guy. He knows when I’m lying and when I’m saying stuff just to comvince myself. Sabi nga n’ya, “I know that look. What is it? Nako. I know you. The way you think is so complex. Imposibleng wala lang ‘yan.” It still makes me smile that we still remember the random little things about each other. I remember how he tried to be diplomatic when he said he hates that Souljah Boy song because it’s a bobo song and I said I like it because it reminds me of my cousins in LA. Haha. Effort to justify that it’s ok lang naman daw because I like it out of association. Typical him. Little boy sad face, hataw ng diplomacia lines… iwas argument. 😛

The night was spent drinking, pigging out, talking about songs and then some. Last stop was the inhale-exhale of the belated Christmas breeze in Aguirre Ave. Yosi, yosi. Kulit, kulitan. He was tasked to bring me home. So naturally, we had more time to talk. Ok na sana until he asked me about the blog. And for some reason, after a few minutes we were already arguing about our break-up aftermath. Nothing heavy. In fact, we even laughed about it. So ok pa rin naman. Things did not get messy and ugly. I’m not sure who between us has the worse memory.

And before we called it a night, there we were in a familiar place tucked in Concha Cruz. He kept on saying wtf. I kept on reaching for another cigarette. There was something about the Foo Fighters. And Justin Timberlake being sexy. And also about him being a better driver. Something about him learning SAP. And me not finding the right guy. There was something about his friend Vada, what she told me when I met her, and how that affected everything. There was something about how we’re both doing okay now and we’ll be doing better tomorrow and in the days to come. There was something about how we both agreed that there is this one word we could use to describe what we had.

BEAUTIFUL. 🙂

—–

listening to: Quincy Jones – One Hundred Ways

Kelan pa?

Kelan pa naging qualified sa long distance relationship ang Muntinlupa at Paranaque?
O ang Taguig at Makati?

Kelan pa naging malayo ang dating malapit?

Kelan?

—–

listening to: Moonstar88 – Sulat

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