Before Catch and Release

Two nights ago…

I just think it’s sayang.
Bakit ba lahat kayo nanghihinayang? Eh ako ‘yung involved, wala naman ako nararamdamang loss and regret.
Eh bakit ba?
Inexplicable. Basta, ayoko na nga. Wala rin naman kasing kapupuntahan.
And you’re saying na siya ang walang backbone?
Weh. Suddenly it’s all about me? Why don’t you go back to your ex? ‘Yun ang sayang. Kasundo na ng mommy mo eh!
Asa pa siya. Ayoko na.
There you go. Ayoko na rin!
Iba yung sa amin. Ikaw ba, did you ever feel neglected?
No. (Pucha, I have no idea why i said this when it should have been a resounding YES!)
And you didn’t even fight. Right love at the wrong time lang talaga.
Hindi rin.
Not really. Hindi rin. Of course not.
Stop mocking me.



An SMS to RB

“I’ve been thinking, it’s not true that I never felt neglected by him and that we never fought. In fact , he made me feel real bad a lot of times. I don’t know why my head seems to put all the negative memories in the farthest corner. It’s as if I’m scared to get angry.”

I’m still waiting for his reply, even if I have this feeling he won’t send one. I’m such a sucker for punishment. Kelangan ko pa talaga ng taong tatabla sa akin. As if the the truth and realization would still have the slightest bearing.

I’m off to watching Catch and Release.


listening to: Death Cab for Cutie – Soul Meets Body

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