Simon Cowell-Possessed

Despite the media reports that this season of A.I. has been getting the lowest ratings, I believe that this is the hottest of all 7 seasons.

Now, let me pull a Simon and allow me to just bitch and blog about the Idol Top 12. πŸ™‚

Amanda: What’s up with the hair? Woke up one morning and thought, “Ooh, I wanna be a skunk today.” You turn even the sweetest melodies into rock and roll. You bore me to tears.

Brooke: You should have been Carly. As in Carly Simone. You look like her, except you’re prettier. You have nicer lips. Nicer nose, nicer hair. Fine. You don’t look like her at all! Haha, But hey, I like you. But I don’t like you that much. I like you because you didn’t fuck up Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles. I don’t like you that much because you didn’t own the song.

Carly: You are just a tad better than Amanda. I wish you’d hide your tattooed arm even once. I think it’s scaring Simon. One time lang, magpaka-girl ka naman. Sing Don’t Cry for Me Argentina in the Andrew Lloyd Webber round!

Chikezie: You took the extra mile to suck when you brought out your harmonica and played it. That’s it. I have no more opinion of you.

Kristy: Your eyebrows have evolved through the entire season, except your voice. Let Kelly Pickler and Carrie Underwood handle all the country shit. Anyway, you have what those two lack, a pretty pretty face! Model or act. Just stop singing. Please.

Michael: I’m still disappointed that you got booted out early. Too early IMHO. I loved your version of Aerosmith’s Dream On and I think it’s just sad that your dream ended with that song. 😦

Ramiele: I’m happygladjoyfulelated that you went bye-bye. Understand that your singing prowess (?) is normal to my ears. I’d rather listen to Lani Miasalucha at any given day. You don’t give me Pinay Pride. I don’t remember you being hugged by Ellen. Or Oprah.

Syesha: I have three words for you. You go girl! I just hope that you start singing upbeat songs because no matter how good you a singer you are, I have yet to see you just enjoying the moment on stage. Let loose, girlfriend!

David A: You’re a darling. A lying, little son of a bitch, but still a darling. I agree with Paula when she said, you can sing to us the phone directory and you’d still make us fall in love. Anyhoodles, you’re so cute you make me want to cheer, “Go, baklita, go go baklita go…” Go fig.

David H: Uhhh… forgettable. I didn’t even realize that there were three Davids in the Top 12 until I stole these pics from the site. Oh well.

Jason: You are the long-haired, thinner version of…. *drumroll* John Travolta! You’re pretty, boy. Pretty pitchy. You never cease to distract me with your kilometric eyelashes.

David Cook: I LOVE YOU! Just when I thought Billie Jean would be your best performance to date, you triple wowed me with Always Be My Baby. You will be the next American Idol. You will make gazillion records and you will make Justin Timberlake eat shit.

That still wasn’t Simon-ey enough. I know, I know. I’m not as articulate.

And I’m not as mean. 0=p

—–

Down to the Top 6: Brooke, Carly, Syesha, David Archuleta, Jason, and David Cook.

Next stop: Andrew Lloyd Webber night.

—–

listening to: David Cook – Always Be My Baby

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22 Comments

  1. ILOVEDAVIDARCHULETA

     /  April 17, 2008

    he’s not baklita! you’re meaner than simon! =..(

    i dont like ramiele too. shes no jasmin trias.

    Reply
  2. CALOI

     /  April 17, 2008

    u can be a bitch but never be a simon! ur still sweeter! hehehe I never noticed how jason castro looks a whole lot like john travolta till u mentioned it! I love davude archuleta even if hes a bit… gay! hahaha and david h. who?! cant remember him! cant remeber which songs he sang?! hes just soooo forgetable.

    my bets for this season: DAVID COOK!!! i do hope he wins! hes really original and such a risk taker! total package pa!

    but dont get me wrong i like the others to (david a. brooke white, jason castro and syesha) though i think most of them still needs sum tuning up to do.

    Reply
  3. CALOI

     /  April 17, 2008

    and as a reply to ILOVEDAVIDARCHULETA, not to pick a fight or anything but true that Ramielle isnt a Jasmin Trias but hey its not like Jasmine Trias has a good voice. I personally think Ramielle has a better, bigger and stonger voice but shes just too pa-cute.

    Reply
  4. yes naman. sana may THE BYSTANDERS round, noh? :p

    yeah, yeah, david cook could, would, should win!

    thanks for visiting the site, caloi. *mwah* πŸ˜€

    Reply
  5. pahabol rin, yeah ramiele’s schizo. pa-cute and trying hard to be ghetto-astig at the same time. gawd. at hindi ko kinakaya ang mga outfits nya.

    ILOVEDAVID: sowee! i love david, too. πŸ™‚ gusto ko sya gawing baby sis… este bro… whatev! he is adorable.

    Reply
  6. I love Kristy! I wish she becomes a pornstar! πŸ˜€

    Reply
  7. gardo

     /  April 17, 2008

    too much homosexuals this season but a lot of young and beautiful talent. why join A.I. and go through the auditions, use youtube and wait till ellen or oprah see your video and ask you to come to their shows…..

    Reply
  8. nico: i think she will be… hehe. a singing pornstar. what a sight that would be! haha.

    ar-jeh: 1, david cook is not homo. why i know? i just know it. wala nang pakialaman. 2, people want the long and hard road to fame. 3, not every one’s name is charisse pempengco. :p

    Reply
  9. rabid4david

     /  April 18, 2008

    Alpha,

    I honestly can’t believe your post about david a. I mean you can love your idol and all, but to bash others? to tell them their gay? and blog the words in tagalog?

    Wow! May i just ask all pretentious, homophobes and bitches here, what the f*&^ is wrong with being gay? So what if they’re gay? oh let me guess, there way TALENTED than you all are. If you’d like to create drama ,fine, but please refrain from attacking a person’s character especially if all you’re basing your insights from is a little TV screen.

    and to think you’re living in this age where sexuality is not an issue anymore.

    “a lying son of a bitch?” please enlighten me on how on earth could you have possibly come to that conclusion?that is really downright primitive of you. do you even personally know him?

    it’s of course your right to say whatever the hell you want but here’s hoping you’d practice some manners and keep your ugly thoughts to yourself.

    i love both david’s c and a(suprised?) and both have their own UNIQUE strengths and are as disparate as oil and water.To compare and criticize them on their singing is an exercise in futility.Both are awesome in their own right.

    Sorry if i com across as preachy, i can’t help but feel protective to my Davids. :). Hataz, back off!

    Peace and love

    Reply
  10. hahaha natawa naman ako sa cheer mo sa baklitang david A!
    pero crush ko syA! πŸ˜†

    Reply
  11. hahaha! you put Simon to shame!

    Reply
  12. hi rabid4david! why cant i blog some words in tagalog? this is my blog afterall. πŸ™‚ and who said anything about gay bashing? i like davi a. i just find him gay. and im just pointing it out. abt the lying part, do u really even watch AI? he said in his audition blahblah that he’s never joined any big competitions thats why he’s psyched with AI. apparently, he was a contestant in star search. now dont tell me that’s a small time competition…

    i understand you’re stressing over this because you all for david a. but hey, if u re-read my blog, you’d find out i have nothing but l-o-v-e for the kid. ;p but i still hope the other david wins. :p

    geisha: crush ko rin sya in a pedophile kind of way. :p

    liz: i will take that as a compliment! mweheh.

    Reply
  13. gina

     /  April 18, 2008

    brilliant blog! πŸ™‚ i’ll be reading this from now on!

    Reply
  14. OMG! I almost choked on my banana laughing! bwahahahahaha

    Especially the part about David Archuleta (Go, Baklita!) hahahaha he is the pride of Utah (where I’m currently at, btw).

    Hey I think Jason is half-half-badaf too coz when he hugged Dolly Parton he did a little tip-toe dance (can’t explain but made him look you-know-what!)

    anyways, I really did enjoy reading your entry!!!

    Reply
  15. ay naku! that jason castro is a jason mraz wannabe. I love noriega, he is sooo fab…hehehe!

    Reply
  16. koreanmine

     /  April 19, 2008

    typical u cant please ’em ‘ol…

    but hey, if ever Simon wil be on a SL , u can defn8ly take his place n no one wud even notice! Lols πŸ˜†

    * may gus2 ako na idol kaso ang aga na chugi, para kc tuod kumanta, ganda pa nmn, nakalimutan ko n din name, yung ginagaya nya voice ni brit.

    Reply
  17. DAVID COOK!!!

    ALWAYS BE MY BABY… My god, he is .. so dropped soulfully good! Kinikilabutan ako sa galing nya. ang sarap sarap sarap paringgan (at sya narin siguro) hahahah!:D Gawd

    Reply
  18. gina: thanks! πŸ™‚ visit lang ng visit! πŸ™‚

    noreen: i didnt get to see that tip-toe-dance. :p sana ulitin nya. :p i visited ur blog as well and i read that ur from bene. what batch? im from bene high 98. πŸ™‚

    bonnie: jason mraz wanna be? miles and miles away. natawa ako sa comment ni randy that jason’s voice is pang-luau. jason makes me wanna get LEID! luau luau luau!

    kassy: gusto ko rin version nya ng hello. and eleanor rigby. ah potah. lahat ng kinanta nya gusto ko!!!!! *sigh*

    Reply
  19. Yo

     /  April 20, 2008

    my gaydar is not working. i didn’t notice the umm fem side of david a until you mentioned it hehhehe…still love him nonetheless. i just heard david c’s always be my baby, ang galing he’s truly an artist hayyyy. konti na lang mahal ko na rin siya wahahhaha

    Reply
  20. I thought I was the only one who wasn’t impressed with Ramiele. She just sounds normal. There are more pinoys/pinays out there who sing better. πŸ™‚ But, because she’s pinay, I supported her πŸ™‚

    Reply
  21. yo: hands off. akin si david cook. you can have simon… and his manboobs. hehehe. πŸ˜›

    guia: haha, ayoko talaga sa kanya. kahit pinay pa sya or kahit kunyari kamag-anak ko pa sya. she’s just too pa-cute.

    Reply
  1. Adios, 2008! « psychosomaticaddictinsane

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