Summer Escape Update

Donnie is about to start training with HSBC and this automatically cuts his .000000000001 probability of going with us to Bataan in half. Jap already filed for a VL and she’s just waiting for it to get approved… or not. And moi? I care, but not really. I’m going to Bataan with or without them. I’m too decided to be bothered with their decision that changes every 2 days. Anyhoodles, Colleen and Eunice are going with me, so it’s still going to be a blast for sure. It’s just too bad that we re-rescheduled the trip to accomodate the others. Oh well, more time, more excitement.

Patience, Iya, patience.

Aruuu, speaking of people I’m going to be with, Colleen mentioned that she’ll be bringing along a friend. Boy daw. I asked this morning who’s that friend, if we know him, yada yada yada and she said that we already met him. She’s just not sure if we can remember who he is.

“Yeah? What’s his name?”
“**** from Bene?”
“You met him the last time we went to Mindoro.”
“Hoooooly fuck. Friend ni ******* and *****?”
“Ay, pokpok ka. Hahaha. I remember him.”

I remember the boy, but I don’t remember the feeling anymore. Haha, ching! Feelings, feelings, wala!!! But I do remember having a brief summer crushie on him 2 summers ago. Back in the days when I still had a thing for big, buff, bald men. We didn’t have a chance to hang out then, because ****** and I were busy guarding Colleen and *****, because their summer fling turned out to be a summer EMO-TIONAL fling. And I’m guessing, by this time, that should already have flung. Hehe.

I’m thinking if I should tell Eunice to bring her boyf, Patrick as well. The more, the MANier. Pero olats, who would be my partner? Colleen offered (parang bagay lang eh, haha) **** to me, but I’d really rather command him to gut fish or get firewood than have an intimate convo with me. Haha, feelingera. Joke lang.

I do want to bring someone along, but I know that he’ll have a hard time getting a leave end of April. Plus, he’s being a bitch lately and he needs to get some serious spanking before I introduce him to my friends. (That didn’t come off right, eh? LOL. Point made.)

Shopping… eep! I have not done my summer shopping yet! Four days to go before payday. Ooooh, I need to get me a lovely, lovely straw hat. And loads of moisturizer. With SPF 30. And a thick book. So I can do something when they go to Matikis Cove. The 1 hour bangka ride scares the shit out of me. I’d whack my head with the book, so I’d be asleep the whole fucking trip.


listening to: Mariah Carey – Touch My Body

4 Minutes

Let’s save the world by listening to THE QUEEN (of my music player) and MY HUBBY (in a parallel universe)! Madge and JT’s collab isn’t as pop-py as I expected but I lovelovelove it anyway. 🙂 Gotta get my hands on a copy of Hard Candy. Tic-toc-tic-toc!


Anyhoodles, let’s see what these two music moguls have to say about consciousness, control freaks, being a bitch, and then some. Cough, cough.

“Straight men need to be emasculated. I’m sorry. They all need to be slapped around. Women have been kept down for too long. Every straight guy should have a man’s tongue in his mouth at least once.”
– Madonna, O Magazine, January 2004

“That consciousness is everything and that all things begin with a thought. That we are responsible for our own fate, we reap what we sow, we get what we give, we pull in what we put out. I know these things for sure.”
– Madonna, O Magazine, January 2004

To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don’t want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.
– Madonna, O Magazine, January 2004

“The world has always been full of Madonna wannabes and I might have even dated a couple. … She [Madona] has still found time to kiss someone I may or may not have publicly kissed myself. Of course you know I was talking about Sean Penn.”
– Justin Timberlake, upon introducing Madonna at the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony in NYC on Monday night

“People always ask if she is the control freak people say she is. Hell yeah! We had a recording session in London and I wasn’t feeling well. She said: ‘Would you like a B12 shot?’ She reached into her handbag, pulled a ziplock bag of B12 syringes and says: ‘Drop ’em.’ I don’t know what you say to that, so I dropped my pants. She gave me the shot in my ass. It was one of the greatest days of my life. That is what Madonna will always be to us. The shot in the ass when we really need it.”
– Justin Timberlake, upon introducing Madonna at the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony in NYC on Monday night

And my all-time favorite…

“I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”

Yeah, that line is going to change and save the word.

Just you wait!!! Tic-toc-tic-toc…


listening to: Madonna and Justin Timberlake feat Timbaland – 4 Minutes

The Long Awaited

The long wait is over.

I finally took the plunge to a much needed catharsis and cried my eyes out last night. It’s just odd that the pinprick that triggered my balloon of tears was a line from the movie, Catch and Release.

“I saw her all perfect and it explained why each time he comes to visit me, he’s like an excited boy wanting not to be perfect.”

Or something to that effect.

It hit me hard because that’s what I saw and felt during those times. I didn’t feel like an option. I didn’t feel like a string. I felt like an escape. And I was happy being an escape. Until now, I don’t blame the person for making me feel that way. Primarily because, I can’t put the entire blame on him. I told him that I knew I should have already left when things started to change, but I didn’t want to just yet. Maybe because I saw how incomplete and sad he was in spite of the seemingly perfect package. I knew I couldn’t complete him, but I was certain that I could make him happy (or less sad) even for a while.

Why I wanted to make him happy? I don’t know. God, I don’t know a lot of things. I am sure though that he made me feel special, even if there were also days that he made me feel utterly inadequate. There were no expectations, only a few promises. There were lots of effort and time, even if there were no labels. There were almost no words, only acts of something similar to love.

He was my knight even if I need not be saved. He was my pillar even if I was already strong.

I wanted him to feel how much he meant to me, but I never had a chance to let him know.

I wanted to make our every moment count. I didn’t intend to make him the center of my universe then but I couldn’t help but gravitate towards him. I wanted to remember what we had with a smile or brilliant realizations, and not with expletives and bitter regrets. I’d always tell myself, “Hindi ko siya pagsisisihan. Ayoko siyang pagsisihan.”

I never wanted what we had to last, because I don’t want to wish for the wrong things. I don’t want to hurt people along the way, because it would mean that I would be hurting myself with guilt. And worse, I’d be hurting him in the process. God knows I would never, ever want to hurt him. And yeah, believe it or not, I tried to do the right thing even if the norms said it was already too late.

People would argue that I loved him, or that I still love him, because of all these.

I don’t know. I don’t want to process that emotion anymore. I’m just relieved that I finally cried. Only now can I say that I can walk faster away from him.

Away from the happiness.

Away from the pain.


listening to: The Holiday Silence

Before Catch and Release

Two nights ago…

I just think it’s sayang.
Bakit ba lahat kayo nanghihinayang? Eh ako ‘yung involved, wala naman ako nararamdamang loss and regret.
Eh bakit ba?
Inexplicable. Basta, ayoko na nga. Wala rin naman kasing kapupuntahan.
And you’re saying na siya ang walang backbone?
Weh. Suddenly it’s all about me? Why don’t you go back to your ex? ‘Yun ang sayang. Kasundo na ng mommy mo eh!
Asa pa siya. Ayoko na.
There you go. Ayoko na rin!
Iba yung sa amin. Ikaw ba, did you ever feel neglected?
No. (Pucha, I have no idea why i said this when it should have been a resounding YES!)
And you didn’t even fight. Right love at the wrong time lang talaga.
Hindi rin.
Not really. Hindi rin. Of course not.
Stop mocking me.



An SMS to RB

“I’ve been thinking, it’s not true that I never felt neglected by him and that we never fought. In fact , he made me feel real bad a lot of times. I don’t know why my head seems to put all the negative memories in the farthest corner. It’s as if I’m scared to get angry.”

I’m still waiting for his reply, even if I have this feeling he won’t send one. I’m such a sucker for punishment. Kelangan ko pa talaga ng taong tatabla sa akin. As if the the truth and realization would still have the slightest bearing.

I’m off to watching Catch and Release.


listening to: Death Cab for Cutie – Soul Meets Body

The Darker Side of The Zodiac (A Re-post)

I’m reposting this for Richard even if I don’t think he’d get to read this.

I told him he’s bitter and boring because he’s a Virgo. I honestly didn’t know what I was thinking or if I was thinking at all when I said that. Anyhoodles, I don’t think he believed me when I sad I’m generous and gentle because I’m a Sagi-Capri cusp. 😛


The dark side of the stars we all have that shadow side of ourselves, few see and know about, come on admit it. The truth is sometimes buried deep inside, and few want to know about their own.

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
You tend to be too idealistic and naive sometimes. Practicality gets thrown out of the window by you many times. Cool and aloof, you rarely want to deal with deep emotions. You like to give advice but don’t like to receive it. And ideas and inspirations that you sometimes neglect or follow through with them are constantly bombarding you. Or else you are constantly shifting focus, giving people the idea with no staying power.
Advice: Take time to explore your private feelings. Not all people see things your way. And just because you come up with ideas,don’t expect other people to do all the work for you. Learn to trust people and accept advice.

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
You are an escapist – you have this knack of avoiding issues if they seem unpleasant. You delve into past memories to escape your present woes. There is also a tendency towards alcoholism and even drug abuse – you are on a search for some kind of ‘high’. You also love to flirt and too much of it may send the wrong, dangerous signals out to other people. Once in a while, a dark mood will descend on you and you become rather unsociable and withdrawn.
Advice: Trust your instincts, but also be in control of your perceptions. Whenever the escapist tendency hits you, join a seminar or get a pep talk from a friend to get your perspective right.

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 20)
A warrior at heart, you thrive on challenges and any strife and dramas, you are tempted to stir things up, just to keep yourself happy. You are also rather intolerant of mistakes and don’t have patience for weakness or failings in others. And sometimes, you can be quite a snob as well you like to be seen at the right places or wear the right clothes. And you’re also prone to bossiness. Your restless nature may make you quit a project suddenly if you can’t sustain the interest.
Advice: Get off your high horse and pay your dues before people will accept you. Learn to be more tolerant of others and try to see the other person’s side of the story. If you believe in what you do,you can move mountains.

Taurus (Apr 21 – May 20)
You are stubborn and like to hold onto things, not wanting to let go of anything or anyone. You are slow to anger, but when you do get worked up to a rage – everyone step aside! You also have a selfish streak and can be quite sneaky as well. And although people may see you as helpful and agreeable, you sometimes have an inner struggle wanting the approval of others while sticking to your own opinions. You also tend to be suspicious of others and question their motives.
Advice: Stop being mean and try to be nice. Learn to forgive and let go of your past disappointments. Learn from your mistakes and have faith in yourself and others as well.

Gemini (May 21 – Jun 21)
Your devil-may-care attitude sometimes could bring harm to yourself – you tend to live on the edge sometimes. Many of you believe that you don’t deserve success, somehow feeling guilty for it. You may give others too much of yourself sometimes that you lose yourself. You may be prone to suppressing emotions as well. And at times that makes it difficult for you to accept affection and love.
Advice: Work at listening to others and don’t be tempted to try dare devil stunts all the time. And try doing something for yourself and once in a while, in between, doing favors for others. You’re human, after all.

Cancer (Jun 22 – Jul 22)
You can get carried away with emotions – your anger is overwhelming and your sadness can depress all those around you. You’re also ultra-sensitive to other people’s emotions and are affected by these as well. You tend to react before you think and then brood about what you may have done or said wrong. You are also prone to periods of morbidity,thinking dark thoughts. Feelings of insecurity creep in now and then,making you snappish or else you try to win the approval of everyone at your expense.
Advice: Accept that you are hypersensitive to emotions and work with yours. Go with the flow and by doing the right thing, you set an example for others. Work with others and this will help build your confidence and open you up.

Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
On the rare occasion you lose your temper, you can turn into a savage beast. You seem to need an audience as well, to help boost your confidence and ego, sometimes. Other times, you get caught up in the outward dramas of your life that you neglect what you’re feeling inside. This results in a delayed reaction when emotions sneak up on you and you get hit with a whammy. You also tend to be proud and aggressive, cloaking these with your charm. When things don’t go your way, you get impatient and may even throw a tantrum.
Advice: Learn to spend some time alone with yourself and get to know yourself better. And learn to experience your emotions at the moment, don’t store them up for another time. And know that not all means justify the ends.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
You have a martyr complex, feeling that you were put on this earth to do good work and not receive any credit for it. You tend to be ultracritical of yourself and others and you also worry about things that are beyond your control. A little pessimistic sometimes, you tend to be an intellectual snob. You bottle up all your insecurities and fears, and hesitate to reach out for help. And once in a while, you become a busybody – that’s when you also feel responsible for other people’s problems.
Advice: Modesty has its own limits – take credit for your efforts. Give yourself a break and know that you do not have to be successful in everything you do. Keep focused and don’t get tangled in other people’s affairs too often.

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 23)Your inability to reach a decision in matters of personal action are legendary. You like to weigh all the alternatives and hear every side of an argument – but this may take time and opportunities may pass you by because of it. You also like to expand energy on people who may not deserve it. You want to help the underdog. You are also sensitive to criticism and may take mild statements of fact very personally.
Advice: Follow your instincts and act on them – stop sitting on fences. Don’t blindly trust people, learn to be a little more discriminating in your offers of help. Learn to think for yourself and don’t be swayed by persuasive tongues.

Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 21)
You have a revengeful streak and a long memory for past hurts. Sometimes you’re downright spiteful. When you suffer, you make sure others suffer along with you. Sometimes, you may even use deception to get what you want and to influence others to stay out of your way. You may even believe these untruths and unrealistic fears will grow on you. Once in a while, you may come across someone that just rubs you on the wrong side for no apparent reason and you make it your mission to bury him or her.
Advice: Flight the negative emotions that arise in you, and resentment will not sour your life. Don’t’ give into temptation to tell lies, learn to conquer your strong tendency towards revenge and things will fall into place for you.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
You’ve got a big mouth and unwittingly hurt an insult people with it. You can even go to utter strangers and give unsolicited advice and comments. You also seem to enjoy verbal duels with others whenever you can. And you sure can make sore losers, even suspecting foul play if things don’t go your way. You have a knack for confrontation and you can’t resist being sarcastic. You also don’t think too much of many people, because you have a mild superiority complex. Vanity is also a trait in many of you.
Advice: Learn with whom you can be frank otherwise keep your comments to yourself. Discretion is the better part of valour. Curb your cockiness,and you can combine it with your concern for serious issues, aiding in your search for truth.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
You are rather materialistic and it is fueled by your fears of financial disaster. This makes you complain about monetary woes, irritating many with your obnoxious attitude. You can also be a social climber,manipulating your way up the ladder; name-dropping all the way to the top. Once in a while, you’ll have morbid thoughts about Death something that scares you because you have no control over it. You tend to be obsessive about your mortality sometimes.
Advice: Stop worrying about losing money, and you’d rid yourself of unfounded nightmares. Stop manipulating others and you’ll be free to concentrate on attaining your goals. Get rid of your phobias and you’ll be able to relax more and enjoy yourself.


listening to: Bobby Valentino – Slow Down

Reminiscing Good Old Bubble Gang

Remember the time when Pinoy comedy acts consisted of translating Tagalog OPM hits into English? My ultimate favorite is Ogie Alcasid and Michael V’s version of the Eraserheads’ superhit Pare Ko.

The original lines of the song:
O Diyos ko, ano ba naman ito?
Di’ba, tang ina, nagmukha akong tanga…

Bubble Gang’s version:
Oh my God, what is this?
Isn’t it, orange juice mother, I looked stupid…

TANG nga naman talaga!

Bwahahaha. La lang. I obviously have a lot of time in my hands. Server’s down and this is what you call boredom management. :p Oh well. Off to doing reports. 🙂


listening to: Utada Hikaru – First Love

Pasta La Cucaracha

Ikaw ba ay mahilig sa exotic food?


Ikaw ba ay mahilig kumain ng Maxx candy?

Pwes! Ikaw ay magtungo sa The Spaghetti Factory sa Glorietta 1!

Kumain doon ang kaibigan/colleague kong si Jasmin at ang boyfriend niya kahapon. Nag-order sila ng Pasta Rosa at Red Seafood Pasta. Bukod sa matabang at mahal, napag-alaman pa nila pagkatapos ng ilang forkfuls na may IPIS na kasama ang isa sa mga pasta dishes na in-order nila!


Aba, kung nakain nila ‘yung la cucaracha, paniguradong hindi na matabang, pero kadiri naman!

Yuuuuuck, ang dirty-dirty! (Parang yung isang babaeng kilala ko diyan sa tabi-tabi na basa ng basa ng blog ko at nagmamalinis na virgin pa raw siya. Puta ka.)

(I digress, sorry.)

At shempre pa, ipinatawag nila ang manager at inireklamo ang karumal-dumal na pangyayari. At ano ang ginawa ng lintek? Nag-apologize, tinaggal sa bill ang pasta dishes, at binigyan si Jas at ang bf nya ng tig-tatlong Maxx candies. ‘Yung green ha.

WTF? Ano ‘yun? May disinfecting ingredient ba ang Maxx at ‘yun ang naisipang ibigay na consuelo de bobo sa kanila?

Kaya ikaw, ‘wag kang kakain sa The Spaghetti Factory, ha? Kumain ka lang doon kung Yes ang sagot mo sa mga nauna kong dalawang tanong.


listening to: Kelly Clarkson – Breakaway

Don’t say goodbye,

say goodnight,

so it’s not over.


Goodnight, baby. 🙂

%d bloggers like this: