Dispo: CBR

For someone who spends more than half of her conscious hours planning her life, I seem to have lost my aptitude for time management. I credit this misfortune to my fall into the wicked combination of the comfort of familiarity and the thrill of danger.

I know it only takes 40 minutes from the gate of our apartment to the 2nd floor biometrics-operated door of our office. If I run and elbow my way ahead agitated commuters and give up my one stick nicotine fix before the shift, then I can cut it to 30. For the past few, I wake up a few minutes short of 9am and I put Speedy Gonzales to shame with my gotta-get-my-lazy-ass-to work velocity. I miss the days when I can still laze around the house watching morning news while eating a breakfast I prepared myself. I miss the days when I had the unbent will of making the early part of the AM calm, if not productive. There’s just something engaging about winning over the 10:00 log-in time in a fraction of a heartbeat that drives me all smiles in spite of breaking a sweat from all the pushing and brisk walking under the Mandaluyong-Makati midmorning sunshine.

***

One of my dearest girls invited me to dinner and I declined. Told her I gotta have me some alone time, even if I have so much (or too much) already. Well, that, and I feel a guilty for not seeing my other friends. I feel guilty saying yes but never making a clearcut effort to meet up with them. Ron, Inez, Colleen, Ricco, Cindy, Mommy Myla, Daddy Marvin, and Rina. And that’s just to name a few! Good Lord, I have not seen Rina for almost 2 years and I know she’s planning on murdering me for not attending Phoebe’s 1st birthday. Damn it. I didn’t even go to her christening and to think I’m one of the godmothers. And Ron! Ron’s been seeing my pictures with Joko and the girls posted in Multiply and I have the audacity to tell her we’ll hang out soon and not give her a date! Not seeing them doesn’t mean I love them less. It only means I’m turning into the kind of friend I never thought I’d ever be– seasonal.

But Jap would disagree. And why wouldn’t she? I see and talk to her more than anybody else. We accidentally celebrated our 10 years of friendship last Sunday with me giving her a tour of UP (that was cut short by hard rain… si Jap talaga malas, hehe) and Tomas Morato. I’m planning to have a 2nd celebration soon to make things more right. We’ll be with our other friends, just the way any great celebration should be. Or I may find myself losing the few people who matter to me.

***

I’m thinking it’s a good idea to force myself to wake up and get up early tomorrow and start the new day by calling and texting my friends about the October reunion.

—–

listening to: Jackson 5 – I’ll Be There

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