For someone who spends more than half of her conscious hours planning her life, I seem to have lost my aptitude for time management. I credit this misfortune to my fall into the wicked combination of the comfort of familiarity and the thrill of danger.
I know it only takes 40 minutes from the gate of our apartment to the 2nd floor biometrics-operated door of our office. If I run and elbow my way ahead agitated commuters and give up my one stick nicotine fix before the shift, then I can cut it to 30. For the past few, I wake up a few minutes short of 9am and I put Speedy Gonzales to shame with my gotta-get-my-lazy-ass-to work velocity. I miss the days when I can still laze around the house watching morning news while eating a breakfast I prepared myself. I miss the days when I had the unbent will of making the early part of the AM calm, if not productive. There’s just something engaging about winning over the 10:00 log-in time in a fraction of a heartbeat that drives me all smiles in spite of breaking a sweat from all the pushing and brisk walking under the Mandaluyong-Makati midmorning sunshine.
One of my dearest girls invited me to dinner and I declined. Told her I gotta have me some alone time, even if I have so much (or too much) already. Well, that, and I feel a guilty for not seeing my other friends. I feel guilty saying yes but never making a clearcut effort to meet up with them. Ron, Inez, Colleen, Ricco, Cindy, Mommy Myla, Daddy Marvin, and Rina. And that’s just to name a few! Good Lord, I have not seen Rina for almost 2 years and I know she’s planning on murdering me for not attending Phoebe’s 1st birthday. Damn it. I didn’t even go to her christening and to think I’m one of the godmothers. And Ron! Ron’s been seeing my pictures with Joko and the girls posted in Multiply and I have the audacity to tell her we’ll hang out soon and not give her a date! Not seeing them doesn’t mean I love them less. It only means I’m turning into the kind of friend I never thought I’d ever be– seasonal.
But Jap would disagree. And why wouldn’t she? I see and talk to her more than anybody else. We accidentally celebrated our 10 years of friendship last Sunday with me giving her a tour of UP (that was cut short by hard rain… si Jap talaga malas, hehe) and Tomas Morato. I’m planning to have a 2nd celebration soon to make things more right. We’ll be with our other friends, just the way any great celebration should be. Or I may find myself losing the few people who matter to me.
I’m thinking it’s a good idea to force myself to wake up and get up early tomorrow and start the new day by calling and texting my friends about the October reunion.
listening to: Jackson 5 – I’ll Be There