I was awakened by an SMS I received at 4:18 am.

“Please pray for my Dad. He just passed away.”

I deliberately squinted my eyes hard to let the pain dismiss the text as a nightmare. A surge of tears followed when the pain chose to settle.

I thought Ate Dana’s dad died because of his kidney complications as he was subjected to daily dialysis, but she said it was a heart attack that brought him to his demise. She even hoped that he was already getting better because he was moving faster, able to walk by himself before the attack.

Her father means the world to Ate Dana and my heart aches for the void that is probably now tearing her heart apart. I told her in blind faith that her Dad is on his way to our Creator and relieved from burden. I know this is also what she tells herself, for we share this kind of faith.

I know from theory that blindness sharpens the senses. I know that faith is the strongest sense possible.

—–

I called Ate Dons and asked her if she wanted to go to the wake with me. She said that she is in Ilocos with the whole family, because her Dad has just been admitted to the hospital. He’s been diagnosed with 2 kinds of cancer a little over than a year ago.

She said they’re not expecting him to get out anymore…

Despite what the doctors said before, that her dad’s only left with 2 months, three tops to grace this world, alternative treatment and the family’s extensive love bought him more time. I know that Ate Dons is grateful for the extension, but it’s impossible to miss the despairing undertones from her voice when I spoke to her earlier.

I know that she is a person of great faith. I have not been blessed with the opportunity of meeting her dad, but from her stories, I know that her faith was influenced by her father’s.

My own faith tells me that influence will shelter her from the pain from the conclusion of temporal existence.

—–

After talking to my two non-biological sisters about the dearest men in their lives, I called the dearest in mine.

“Hello! O anak! O baket napatawag ka uli? Nag-goodmorning ka na kanina ha.”
“Hi, Daddy. I love you.”
“I love you, too, anak. Baket, ano meron?”
“Wala lang. Text ko na lang. Hiya ako eh. Bye.”

In a few minutes I sent him this…

“I know I don’t say it much and I don’t show it quite well. But I know that you know that I love you. Don’t ask why. Don’t ask how. You know how faith works. I don’t need to see God in flesh or floating in spirit, because I know He exists because of you. And Mama, of course. Tell her I love her, too.”

—–

listening to: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

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Posted by Iya Santos on September 15, 2008

https://psychosomaticaddictinsane.wordpress.com/2008/09/15/644/