aka The Day I Tried to Kill Myself (by Clogging My Arteries) Part 1
After days of trying to resist the tempting wicked visions of two perfectly fried chicken breasts hugging a thick piece of bacon and a big slice of mozzarella cheese, I gave into Colonel Sanders’ latest offering- the KFC Double Down Sandwich.
I was not about to be let down by a SOLD OUT sign on the DD poster, like what I read on Twitter from dozens of frustrated, DD-deprived seekers. So I called KFC Jupiter, yesterday at 8am.
“Hi! Is the Double Down available?”
“Great! I’m coming over. I’m getting one.”
“Ahmmm, ma’am, 9am pa po kami magbubukas.”
“Ah ganon ba? Sabi ko nga, excited ako masyado eh.”
I arrived at 9:15 am. O di’ba, late pa. I had to remind the staff to remove the Sold Out sign. Itaas ang kamay ng mga pakialamera! *raises both hands* Only when she removed the sign was I ready to order the monster sandwich with mad components.
This is me waiting, contemplating if I am strong enough to handle the lethal DD.
After 15 minutes, it arrived along with Pepsi, rice and my fixin’ of choice- coleslaw.
Hello, Double Down. I’ve been wanting to meet you since I saw you in the Pacquiao-Margarito fight. Are you also gonna knock me out?
Your size is a disappointment…
But I bet you are big on taste.
After talking (in my head) to the DD, I cut it in half. I intended to eat the 1st half as it’s supposed to be eaten. You know, as a sandwich. I ordered the coleslaw for good measure. Ayoko kasing ma-uta. What the hell is “uta” in English? To my foreign readers, the closest translation to it is “do be fed up out of disgust”. I took a bite and it was delicious. I might be saying differently had I not asked them to lessen the mayo and if I didn’t have coleslaw to eat in between bites. The combination of the chicken, bacon and cheese made it a bit salty as expected and overwhelmingly rich. Anyhoodles, I enjoyed the 1st half of my DD, bite after bite.
The 2nd half, I intended to go with rice and gravy. As my friend, Chef Pancho puts it, the Double Down looks ulam-y. (ulam = viand) As a Filipino, I also expected that I would enjoy it with the essential carbs, but I didn’t. It was good, but it was too heavy. Or maybe I didn’t want to fall into a food coma and ruin the pleasant experience. Also, I had a Lechon Pizza dinner the same day to think of. I finished the last quarter of my DD and my coleslaw, praises racing in my head.
Congratulations to KFC for their newest baby. This is definitely the best reparation for the bland disappointment called Chewy Cheese.
If you haven’t tried the Double Down yet, this long weekend is the perfect chance as you would have enough time to nurse yourself back into wellness should you fall into a food coma.
104 Jupiter St, Bel-air
listening to: T.I. feat Chris Brown – Get Back Up