“When was your last relationship?”
“Why did you break up?”
“Why are you still single?”
Those are the dreadful questions that render me speechless, which is hard to believe considering how chatty I am. I should have auto-generated answers by now because I have been getting those questions since I hit 28. I don’t know. There are very simple answers, some truths and some half-truths. It’s complicated, I guess, when the answers open up a portal in my head that make memories contaminate the words that should come out of my mouth.
Just late last week, I was asked those questions again. I remember letting out an exasperated sigh, taking a long gulp of my beer, and then saying, “I think I need a cigarette.” After a couple of puffs, I said, “Mukha siyang gago.” I wasn’t even sure if I was talking about the last boyfriend or the last guy who stole and broke my heart. I guess, it didn’t really matter because they’re all gago in my book. I didn’t know what year to answer for the when-was-your-last-relationship q. I didn’t know if I should talk about the last relationship that
the whole world my whole world knew about or the last relationship significant to me. Somewhere in the conversation, I managed to say I have a gay-looking ex who also happens to be a lying, cheating stupid son of a bitch.
You’re probably thinking that I can choose the convenient option of saying that I want to keep my love life (or lack thereof) personal, but there really are times that these things have to be discussed. I wish I could develop a spiel for this to prevent me from blabbering like an idiot, to prevent my head from exploding.
For now, how is this for an answer?
“Last relationship ended on time. It ended because he wasn’t awesome enough. And I’m still single because I haven’t met someone who’s as awesome as me.”
Vague, conceited, hopeul and true. I will use that while figuring out a better answer– while waiting for a reason to not answer anymore because the questions are no longer applicable.
listening to: Florence + The Machine – Shake It Out