Lola Miling

My paternal grandmother passed away this afternoon.

{1 year old me with Lola}

She suffered from kidney tumors and colon and lung complications. Daddy visited her in the hospital last week and he called me up so I could talk to Lola. I told her I was sorry for not visiting yet. I told her to wait for me because I would visit her soon. I even joked that mag-iinuman pa kami*. She laughed (yung mahinhin niyang tawa, see, mana ako sa Lola ko) and told me to take care.

I was supposed to see her THIS Saturday. I was supposed to hug her and tell her how grateful I am to her for giving me my Daddy. I wanted to tell her that even if I’ve always thought that I wasn’t a favorite apo because I rarely spent my vacations in Pangasinan, I treasure the memories I spent with her in the family house’s dining room, where she’d struggle in talking to me in Tagalog and pushed me to eat more bangus, talangka, and sugpo… when she’d giggle like a child whenever I’d speak to her in broken Pangalatok/Ilokano…

I was supposed to see her this Saturday. I even asked my Dad if he wanted to meet up with me in Dagupan so we’d just go to the hospital together. He replied that Lola would be brought back to the family house because that’s where she wanted to rest. After an hour, I received a message from my Dad again. Lola Miling already passed away. She didn’t even get to make it home.

But I guess, God already welcomed Lola in her real home– in heaven where my Lolo Felix had been waiting for almost 12 years. There, they can continue their love story and watch over all of us here.

I don’t even know their love story. I never bothered to ask. It’s a regret that I didn’t. It’s a regret that I did not seize the opportunities to be close to her.

To all of you out there, don’t be like me. Have a sense of urgency to express your appreciation, need, want, love to the people you care about.

I’m going to Pangasinan this weekend to pay my respects to Lola Miling. If you could, please say a little prayer for her. Her name was Emilia Lomibao Santos.


* Lagi ko noon jino-joke si Lola na mag-iinuman pa kami kasi when I was little, nakikita ko s’ya na may hawak na lapad. Parang si Tita Minerva sa Palibhasa Lalake. :,)


listening to: nothing

13 Most Memorable Quotes From Steve Jobs

I’ve never been an Apple fan but when I woke up yesterday to the message that Steve Jobs died, a part of me was deeply saddened. It’s always a sad thing when someone with great influence leaves.

Goodbye to the man who shaped the world of technology with his brilliance and motivated a lot of people to want and become more.

I don’t have any extra-special tribute for the man like photos of a collection of Apple products, heck the only Apple product I owned was a 1st gen iPod Shuffle, but I’d like to share the 13 most memorable quotes from the beloved icon.

On computers

“It takes these very simple-minded instructions—‘Go fetch a number, add it to this number, put the result there, perceive if it’s greater than this other number’––but executes them at a rate of, let’s say, 1,000,000 per second. At 1,000,000 per second, the results appear to be magic.”

[Playboy, Feb. 1, 1985]

On design

“It’s really hard to design products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don’t know what they want until you show it to them.”

[BusinessWeek, May 25, 1998]

The best sales line ever?

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water or do you want a chance to change the world?”

[The line he used to lure John Sculley into becoming Apple’s CEO, according to Odyssey: Pepsi to Apple]

On character

“I’m the only person I know that’s lost a quarter of a billion dollars in one year…. It’s very character-building.”

[Apple Confidential 2.0]

On good design

“That’s been one of my mantras — focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.”

[BusinessWeek, May 25, 1998]

On his outlook

“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me.”

[The Wall Street Journal, May 25, 1993]

On his role at Apple

“This is not a one-man show. What’s reinvigorating this company is two things: One, there’s a lot of really talented people in this company who listened to the world tell them they were losers for a couple of years, and some of them were on the verge of starting to believe it themselves. But they’re not losers. What they didn’t have was a good set of coaches, a good plan. A good senior management team. But they have that now.”

[BusinessWeek, May 25, 1998]

Having pride in your product

Playboy: “Are you saying that the people who made PCjr don’t have that kind of pride in the product?”

Jobs: “If they did, they wouldn’t have made the PCjr.”

[Playboy, Feb. 1, 1985]

He’ll always come back

“I’ll always stay connected with Apple. I hope that throughout my life I’ll sort of have the thread of my life and the thread of Apple weave in and out of each other, like a tapestry. There may be a few years when I’m not there, but I’ll always come back.”

[Playboy, Feb. 1, 1985]

Have faith in the future

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

[Stanford commencement speech, June 2005]

On your working life

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

[Stanford commencement speech, June 2005]

On the importance of death

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.”

[Stanford commencement speech, June 2005]

Don’t sit still

“I think if you do something and it turns out pretty good, then you should go do something else wonderful, not dwell on it for too long. Just figure out what’s next.”

[NBC Nightly News, May 2006]

Goodbye, Mr. Jobs. Thank you for the wonderful things you have created. I hope that you are now happy with THE ONE who created you. =,)


images from

quotes from Business Insider


listening to: nothing

Yo! Peace….

An hour and a half ago, I heard my good friend Homer ask his colleague, “Paano na si Maxine?”  Being the chismosa that I am, I asked, “Sinong Maxine?” Homer replied, “Wala na si Francis dahil di ba may leukemia siya….”

And of course, to us Filipinos, especially us 80’s and 90’s kids, there is only one Francis that stands out. Stood out, considering his unfortunate and shocking demise. He’s Francis Magalona, King of Philippine Rap. A man who did not only entertain us with his lyrical beat and straight-up words, but showed us ina  different light what being a Filipino was all about.

I remember, so many years ago, I would rather memorize the lyrics of Mga Kababayan than Panatang Makabayan. In my young heart, I knew that his song spoke more relevance to my heritage than any compulsary piece given by the school and the government.

Mr. Francis M, you were truly a voice of the Filipino People. Know in heaven that you will be missed.


Peace, man.


listening to: Francis M – Kaleidoscope World

I was awakened by an SMS I received at 4:18 am.

“Please pray for my Dad. He just passed away.”

I deliberately squinted my eyes hard to let the pain dismiss the text as a nightmare. A surge of tears followed when the pain chose to settle.

I thought Ate Dana’s dad died because of his kidney complications as he was subjected to daily dialysis, but she said it was a heart attack that brought him to his demise. She even hoped that he was already getting better because he was moving faster, able to walk by himself before the attack.

Her father means the world to Ate Dana and my heart aches for the void that is probably now tearing her heart apart. I told her in blind faith that her Dad is on his way to our Creator and relieved from burden. I know this is also what she tells herself, for we share this kind of faith.

I know from theory that blindness sharpens the senses. I know that faith is the strongest sense possible.


I called Ate Dons and asked her if she wanted to go to the wake with me. She said that she is in Ilocos with the whole family, because her Dad has just been admitted to the hospital. He’s been diagnosed with 2 kinds of cancer a little over than a year ago.

She said they’re not expecting him to get out anymore…

Despite what the doctors said before, that her dad’s only left with 2 months, three tops to grace this world, alternative treatment and the family’s extensive love bought him more time. I know that Ate Dons is grateful for the extension, but it’s impossible to miss the despairing undertones from her voice when I spoke to her earlier.

I know that she is a person of great faith. I have not been blessed with the opportunity of meeting her dad, but from her stories, I know that her faith was influenced by her father’s.

My own faith tells me that influence will shelter her from the pain from the conclusion of temporal existence.


After talking to my two non-biological sisters about the dearest men in their lives, I called the dearest in mine.

“Hello! O anak! O baket napatawag ka uli? Nag-goodmorning ka na kanina ha.”
“Hi, Daddy. I love you.”
“I love you, too, anak. Baket, ano meron?”
“Wala lang. Text ko na lang. Hiya ako eh. Bye.”

In a few minutes I sent him this…

“I know I don’t say it much and I don’t show it quite well. But I know that you know that I love you. Don’t ask why. Don’t ask how. You know how faith works. I don’t need to see God in flesh or floating in spirit, because I know He exists because of you. And Mama, of course. Tell her I love her, too.”


listening to: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

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