Best-Laid Plan

I realized over the weekend that it would be best if I just stay close to my intimate circle. It’s not that I don’t want to gain new friends or expand my social sphere. It’s just going to be for a moment, or as soon as I can re-explain to myself the meaning of forgiveness and redefine what trust is.

I also realized from my musings at the beach in a stormy, gloomy Sunday afternoon that nowadays, I am strongest and bravest when I am alone. I open myself to vulnerability (and pain) when people are close to me. I reckon my strength does not come with courage lately. I guess something in me has changed and I don’t like it.

I used to think that I can be strong yet vulnerable.

There is no room for any form of weakness now.

I must be fierce.

So I will fiercely love. So I will fiercely live.

I will hold my loved-ones closer. I would not seek any more or go on looking for any less.

For now this is the only way I know how to manage.

I know I am right, and this will keep me strong.

—–

listening to: the weekend happenings on replay

9 Comments
by Iya Santos on August 5, 2008  •  Permalink
Posted in All About Me, Drama

Posted by Iya Santos on August 5, 2008

https://psychosomaticaddictinsane.wordpress.com/2008/08/05/best-laid-plan/

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9 Comments

  1. sab

     /  August 6, 2008

    we tend to realize a lot of things when alone. i’ve had more than my share of alone time. it felt nice albeit a little sad. i hope it doesn’t stay that way.

    you deserve a hug.

    Reply

  2. sab

     /  August 6, 2008

    maybe being around tons of books this September will help! 🙂

    Reply

  3. jokoness

     /  August 6, 2008

    dati i abhorred being alone.
    these days, alone or with people, inner happiness rocks hard meyns!

    🙂 wish that for you iyaiyayow!

    Reply

  4. raf

     /  August 7, 2008

    live as if it’s your last day on earth.

    love as if you won’t get hurt.

    be happy ‘cos there’s always a reason to be.

    bow.

    🙂

    Reply

  5. alphasensei

     /  August 7, 2008

    😀

    im not alone. the voices in my head are keeping me company.

    (ano daw? hehehe)

    Reply

  6. raf

     /  August 8, 2008

    hala iya, what are the voices saying? share naman oh, baka divine prophesies yan. or you’re being called to be a nun na. hehehe.

    Reply

  7. Liz

     /  August 8, 2008

    i used to be extroverted.. but nowadays, i enjoy spending a lot of time with myself. haha!

    i hope you find what you’re looking for.

    Reply

  8. Finch

     /  August 10, 2008

    moment of solitude 😉 we all need that

    Reply

  9. alphasensei

     /  August 11, 2008

    right.

    thanks. 🙂

    Reply

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